I’ve been in a bit of a funk as of late. Finally settling
into my new life, but still feeling displaced at times in this new area. I am
very busy most of the time, but when I finally slow down I find myself to be
super anxious and unfocused. I like to call this funk my “Artist’s Reverie.”
Ever had that before? Where life seems so fast and slow at the same time, the
lyrics of ballads suddenly start speaking your language, and you feel like you
need to craft/write/read/draw/stare into space all the time? No? Only me? Alright then, moving on.
I blame the weather. I am SO ready for it to be fall, but it
is still hot and humid most days here in Georgia. I am even rebelling and
dressing for the weather I want it to be, not for the weather it actually is. One
might point out that wearing boots and scarves in mid-80 degree weather is
probably what is causing my grouchiness. Perhaps.
And then today it hits me… October is right around the
corner! As in next week! Wowzers. How did it get to be that time already?
Pumpkins, sweaters, bonfires, fall colors, harvest… all of my favorite things jam
packed in a few-week time period of the year.
But I have also realized that this year, just like every
October for as long as I can remember, I will probably get the Fall Doldrums. The
Fall Doldrums have plagued me ever since high school, always falling (ha, pun) in
the last few weeks of October. I get antsy, and start asking myself those ever
elusive, “What am I doing with my life?” questions. As the sky gets cloudy and
the days become shorter, I always have this feeling of being trapped in boredom
and monotony. I find that I am scolding myself often internally: “You will not
find the meaning of your life on Pinterest. You will not find the… oh, okay…
one more page...” I have a feeling this year will be hard as well, since I am
away for the first time ever and missing out on all of the things I loved most
about living in rural Illinois.
There are certainly things I am looking forward to in
October… Luke has TWO long weekends, my sister Katie is coming to visit, I am
going back to Illinois to see family and friends for 8 whole days (yippee!), Luke’s
bromantic partner Nick is flying back with me for a week-long visit, and
hopefully the pup will start learning to be a civilized creature as she begins her
puppy training classes. Lots of great things happening in my favorite month of
the year!
Hopefully the Fall Doldrums have just hit early this year,
and/or I will figure out the meaning of life in time to FALL in love all over
again with the autumn season and thoroughly enjoy my October without all the
annual blahs.
Anyone have ideas on things to do to shake off the gloomies?
I’m always up for a craft project ;)
