Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Hurry Up and Wait: Things They Don’t Tell You About Army Life When You Start Dating That Cute Guy in Uniform

I’m in love with a man in the military. Crazy, crazy love for that man. He’s the best thing since sliced bread and Keurigs in my opinion. We have been happily together for 2 and ½ years (not that we were UNhappily together at any point in time) and engaged for almost a year. We are tying the knot on July 5th, and recently found out to our surprise, we will need to be at our first duty station by July 19th. Whoo hoo! Jumping right into married life! But really, words can’t express how excited I am to finally get started with our life together.



This said, being in love with someone in the military is not always as easy or romantic as it may seem. Sure, when I saw Luke in uniform for the first time back in 2010 when I was a college junior and he a sophomore (aw, he’s a youngin’), my heart went a little pitter-patter. But, I also very vividly remember telling a girlfriend in high school that I would never date someone in the military. I was perfectly fine with my Illinois soil and being tucked in next to that person every night, thank you very much.

Alas, how the Lord works in mysterious ways.

In the Army, there is a term – “Hurry up and wait.” This has pretty much become my motto over the last couple years when it comes to Army life. I can’t count how many times Luke and I have asked ourselves questions that we have no idea how to find the answer to, or if/when it will even come. We have spent more time apart than either of us would have liked, a hundred times over. We have tried to plan our weeks, months, and years around training dates that aren’t set or will inevitably change. Heck, even planning 2 days ahead is hard at times. Imagine trying to set a wedding date a year out!

Side note: I have experience of being a girlfriend/fiancé to a very high speed (civie translation: really good at what he does) ROTC cadet. I don’t know the worry or stress that comes along with being the spouse of an active duty soldier yet. I’m sure that my feelings and frustrations pale in comparison to what they face every day. But, since I’ll be joining the ranks of MilSpouses here in about 2 weeks when Luke commissions May 10th, I’m documenting my “pre-Army life 24/7-experience” here.

So, this in mind and in the spirit of super long lists that I seem to have an affinity for (usually because it involves crossing things off, which is so satisfying), I put together just a few of the things I’ve learned or wished I’d known a couple years ago so that I could become one high speed fiancé of a military man. Though I probably won’t be crossing any of these things off my list anytime soon.

1. There is an acronym for everything. ROTC, PCS, TDY, FTX, LDAC, NCO, CTLT, BOLC, ACU, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP… ok, maybe not that last one, but still. These things are tossed around in daily conversation. Advice to past self: learn fast, kiddo.

 2. You don’t get to hold hands if they are in uniform. If you need to take their arm, it needs to be their left, so they can salute a higher ranking officer with their right. (silly me, not knowing I shouldn’t take the arm of the side I’m walking on while tripping over my heels)

3. Separation sucks, no matter if it’s a weekend or 2 months. What does make it better:
    a. Letters and pictures, of the love kind and the humorous kind. (I have done everything from perfecting the art of stick figure drawing to demonstrate my daily happenings to writing the entire letter in a spiral)
    b. Countdowns, not count-ups. (‘51 days, 8 hours, 3 minutes, 45 seconds til I see you again,’ NOT ‘It’s been ___ days since we’ve seen each other’)
    c. Attempting to find new hobbies (“I’m going to collect velvet tiger art!”)

4. You get those ‘first kiss’ feelings every time they've been away for a long period of time.



5. You start sounding like the next Miss America praying for safety for the troops– “If you could have one wish granted, what would it be?” “World peace! World peace for everyone! And puppies!” Because really, who doesn’t like puppies?

6. “Apparently” you should not yell out, ‘That’s my baby!’ at an awards ceremony.

7. My most recent discovery: I will be living on an Army POST. Not an Army base. There are Naval and Marine bases… no such thing as Army base. See what I mean about Army wording and its clarifying nature? Yeah, me neither.

8. Uniforms are dead sexy until you get a whiff of them during laundry time.

9. DOG TAGS ARE NOT A FASHION STATEMENT!

10. It would be so easy to martyr yourself, and feel like everything is so unfair and you never get to see him enough and there are stupid rules to follow and ‘I’m giving up my life of X-Y-Z’ for a weird new acronym that was basically assigned to your significant other. False. Don’t go there, girlfriend. There are some awesome, and I mean AWESOME opportunities that I’ve gotten from being involved in military life, and I know there are tons more to come. I appreciate our time we get to spend together so much more. Little spats of disagreements are put in perspective really quickly. I’m going to get to travel all over. The man I love is willing to sacrifice quite literally everything for something he believes in with his whole heart.

Commitment, loyalty, love, and sacrifice is the language of a soldier. He lives and breathes it every day. Who wouldn't want to have a part in someone like that’s life?

(Shameless ring shot)

So, this is my life as a soon-to-be Army wife. Sometimes crazy, ALWAYS worth it, it’s a life that 19-year old me would have never in a million years dreamed up. Throughout the rest of this blog, I hope that I can accurately describe the things we encounter, so that you all can come on the journey with us.

Until then, I’ll continue to blog silly long lists, stress out about wedding planning, contemplate my career situation, and all-together try to figure out my life as a farm-girl-turned-world-adventurer.

I need an acronym for that.

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